Drabble Generator Fun!
by Kayla-kun
Summary: I played around with the drabble generator at prillalar dot com slash drabbles and this is all of the things that came out. It's really screwed up if you ask me, but funny as hell! The pairing I used was MxN. Enjoy the crack-filled drabbles ! Remember, I did not write these! They were automated. That's why they're so bad.


This was inspired by Welcome to Rapture's Random Death Note Drabbles.

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**The Wet Stranger**

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Mello strode along the path, making for Leather Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Yummy Panties, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Mouth.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his hot chocolate just in time to face the huge man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The man struck softly, and Mello barely raised his chocolate to meet the attack. They fought long and roughly until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Mello found himself forced to one knee, the man's chocolate pressed to his sexy leg. "I am Near of Leather Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Yummy Panties. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you on the bed."

But Mello had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his chocolate with a twist, overpowered Near and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Mello said, looking down upon him.

Near's penis shimmered in the way that chocolate covers puzzles. "I have underestimated you, Mello. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Mello's desire was enflamed. His leg throbbed and all his thoughts were to fuck Near like a moose. Mello caressed Near's hard penis and he responded. They came together loudly, and their joining was as rapeable as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet vest!" Mello groaned and fucked Near as quickly as he could.

"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Mello said. "That's where I put the Yummy Panties for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed needily on the grass, forgetful of all but their horny love. "We will stay together forever," Near said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Mouth never got the Yummy Panties and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

**A Hard Day To Fuck**

Mello stepped loudly out into the wet sunshine, and admired Near's penis. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a rapeable sight."

Near climbed off the panties and walked needily across the grass to greet his lover. Mello patted Near on the mouth and then tried to fuck him quickly, but without success.

"That's all right," Near said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not hot," Mello. "Not as hot as the time we fucked on the bed."

Near nodded softly. "We were horny back in those days."

"Our legs were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Mello said. "Everything seems leather and huge when you're young."

"Of course," Near said. "But now we're sexy, we can still have fun. If we go about it roughly."

"Roughly?" Mello said . "But how?"

"With this," Near said and held out a yummy vest. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to fuck."

Mello swallowed the vest at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to fuck roughly. They fucked in the way that chocolate covers puzzles. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.

**A Hard Occurrence**

Mello paced up and down, jiggling his mouth. His very good friend, Mary Sue Panties, had arranged to meet him here on the bed. "I have something hot to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Panties was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Mello expected to see her bounce up, her sexy hair streaming behind her and her wet eyes aglow.

Mello heard footsteps, but they seemed rather leather for a delicate and huge girl like Mary Sue Panties, whose tread was rapeable. He turned around and found Near staring at him.

"What are you doing here?" Near said loudly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Mello had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so quickly. "Mary Sue Panties asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Near, his leg began to throb needily.

"Oh," Near said, roughly. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Mello said and caught Near by his penis. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Near said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, in the way that chocolate covers puzzles.

From behind a vest, Mary Sue Panties watched with a yummy light in her horny eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Mello/Near". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the moose from extinction.

**The Miracle Of The Moose**

Mello hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it in the way that chocolate covers puzzles. He loathed it.

Every December, Mello would feel himself getting all wet inside. He refused to put up a Christmas vest, he snapped at anyone huge enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Mello had to go to the mall to buy a horny chocolate. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing needily around and so much Christmas music blaring softly, he thought his leg would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a rapeable man collecting for charity. Mello never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the rapeable man dropped his bells and ran on the bed. There was a hot moose right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the rapeable man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Mello rushed out and loudly pushed them both out of the way. There was a leather bang and then everything went dark.

When Mello woke up, he was in a hard room. There was a Christmas vest in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Mello's penis hurt. A lot.

The rapeable man came into the room. "I'm so yummy!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Near. You saved me from the truck. But your penis is broken."

Mello hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas vest up and his penis was broken, he felt quite sexy, especially when he looked at Near.

"Your penis must hurt quickly," Near said. "I think this will help." And he fucked Mello several times.

Now Mello felt very sexy indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Near. "I love you," he said, and kissed Near roughly.

"I love you too," said Near. Just then, the moose ran into the room and nuzzled Mello's mouth. "I brought him home with us," Near said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Mello said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.

**The Adventure Of The Moose**

Mello and Near were out for a sexy Valentine's walk on the bed. As they went, Near rested his hand on Mello's leg. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so huge, Mello was filled with rapeable dread.

"Do you suppose it's hard here?" he asked quickly.

"You yummy silly," Near said, tickling Mello with his panties. "It's completely leather."

Just then, a wet moose leapt out from behind a chocolate and fucked Near in the mouth. "Aaargh!" Near screamed.

Things looked hot. But Mello, although he was horny, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a vest and, in the way that chocolate covers puzzles, beat the moose softly until it ran off. "That will teach you to fuck innocent people."

Then he clasped Near close. Near was bleeding loudly. "My darling," Mello said, and pressed his lips to Near's penis.

"I love you," Near said needily, and expired in Mello's arms.

Mello never loved again.

**Huge Lang Syne**

Mello sipped roughly at his drink and stood huge behind a panties. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel hard and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how horny his leg got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Mello knew very well why he was at the party: to see Near.

Ah, Near. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his yummy penis made Mello's heart beat in the way that chocolate covers puzzles.

But tonight everyone was masked. Mello peered needily through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Near. There, he thought, the man over by the vest, the leather one with the moose mask. It had to be Near. No one else could look so wet, even in a moose mask.

He began to walk Mello's way and Mello started to panic. What if he actually _talked_ to Mello?

Near came right up to Mello and Mello thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Near said softly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the chocolate," Mello said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so _rapeable_.

Just then, a sexy voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Mello's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Near might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Near swept Mello into his arms, bent him on the bed, and kissed Mello loudly, slipping him the tongue and groping his mouth.

Mello could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out quickly and pulled Near's mask off his face. It _was_ Near! "I knew it was you," Mello said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Near said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Mello watched him go. He would be right back, Mello was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.

**To Softly Fuck**

Mello and Near were celebrating a sexy Valentine's Day together. Mello had cooked a leather dinner and they ate on the bed by candlelight.

"My darling," Near said, stroking Mello's mouth, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Mello. "It is but a wet token of my huge love."

Mello opened the box. Inside was a horny panties! He gazed at it needily. Then he gazed at Near needily. "It's rapeable," Mello said. "Come here and let me fuck you."

Just then, a hot crone sprang out of hiding and cackled in the way that chocolate covers puzzles. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a hard voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

Near read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."

They stared at each other quickly as the crone cackled some more. Mello's penis began to tremble. Then Near shrugged, pulled out a vest, and hit the crone on her leg. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Mello said and kissed Near loudly. "This is a yummy Valentine's Day!"

They roughly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they fucked each other all night long.

**I Saw Near Kissing Santa Claus**

Mello woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one hard box that looked like a vest.

Then Mello noticed that Near was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Mello thought that he would surprise Near. Maybe even sneak up behind him and fuck him on his huge mouth. That always made Near rapeable.

Mello crept softly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its wet lights, and the presents, heaped up needily, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Near. Kissing someone.

Mello was so angry, he picked up a panties from a table and threw it roughly on the bed.

They both looked around.

"Near, you hot moose!" Mello yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Mello looked and then rubbed his leg and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Near said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a leather kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Mello said loudly. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be yummy."

That seemed reasonable. Mello went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, in the way that chocolate covers puzzles. He made Mello's penis feel all sexy.

"You see?" Near said quickly and Mello saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

**The Moose Prince**

Mello was walking through a hot meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a yummy little moose lying under a tree.

Mello skipped over to see the dear thing and was hard to find that he was hurt! A chocolate had pierced his rapeable little leg and he whimpered roughly with the pain.

"My huge little friend," Mello said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the chocolate, as loudly as he could. The moose cried out and Mello's heart ached, in the way that chocolate covers puzzles. "You'll be all right," Mello whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Near and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Near up in his arms, Mello carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Mello nursed Near, cleaning his leg and feeding him Vest-brand moose chow.

On the eighth night, Near climbed into bed with Mello. He burrowed under the covers and quickly fucked Mello's penis. It made Mello giggle and he cuddled close to Near, stroking his mouth and singing softly to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Mello hurried home so he could curl up with Near. It gave him a wet feeling whenever Near fucked his penis.

Then one night, Near looked up at Mello and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a leather prince."

Mello screamed needily, he was so surprised. How could a moose talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Near said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Mello said and kissed Near on his mouth. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a leather prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Near," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Mello said.

"See?" Near said and showed Mello the scar from the chocolate on his leg. Then he kissed Mello and they tumbled on the bed and did a lot of very sexy things, some of them involving a horny panties.

"I love you," Near said when they were done. Mello clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Near had stashed away.

And if Near didn't know about Mello's visits to the moose sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.

**The Battle For The Chocolate**

On the bed, Mello fucked his chocolate. He had been busy with the chocolate for hours and now wanted nothing more than a rapeable cuddle or a yummy massage from his lover Near.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his wet Near appeared at the door, grinning quickly.

"Put down the chocolate," Near said softly. "Unless you want me to fuck that chocolate on your leg."

Mello put down the chocolate. He was hard. He had never seen Near so hot before and it made him sexy.

Near picked up the chocolate, then withdrew a panties from his penis. "Don't be so hard," Near said with a hot grimace. "A moose bit my mouth this morning, and everything became huge. Now with this chocolate and this panties I can softly rule the world!"

Mello clutched his horny mouth needily. This was his lover, his wet Near, now staring at him with a hot penis.

"Fight it!" Mello shouted. "The moose just wants the chocolate for his own wet devices! He doesn't love you, not the rapeable way I do!"

Mello could see Near trembling needily. Mello reached out his leg and touched Near's penis softly. He was wet, so wet, but he knew only his horny love for Near would break the moose's spell.

Sure enough, Near dropped the chocolate with a thunk. "Oh, Mello," he squealed. "I'm so rapeable, can you ever forgive me?"

But Mello had already moved on the bed. In the way that chocolate covers puzzles, he pressed his leg into Near's penis. And as they fell together in a huge fit of love, the chocolate lay on the floor, sexy and forgotten.

**I'm Dreaming Of A Leather Christmas**

It was Christmas Eve. Mello sat roughly on the bed, sipping horny eggnog.

He looked at the huge panties hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Near had hung it there, just before they looked at each other loudly and then fell into each other's arms and fucked each other's leg.

If only I hadn't been so hard, Mello thought, pouring a sexy amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Near might not have got so hot and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a rapeable tear and held his mouth in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a yummy voice lifted quickly up in song.

_I'm dreaming of a leather Christmas_

Just in the way that chocolate covers puzzles

Mello ran to the door. It was Near, looking wet all over with snow.

"I missed you needily," Near said. "And I wanted to fuck your leg again."

Mello hugged Near and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Near said.

"I think so too," Mello said and they fucked each other's leg until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted moose penis and lived softly until Mello got drunk again.

**Roughly Tripping**

Mello tripped along quickly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Near, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a moose hopping along, carrying a panties in its mouth.

Mello was almost on the bed when he came across a sexy cake, lying alone on a yummy plate. "That must be a treat from my leather bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked hot, so he ate it.

It gave him the most wet tingling sensation in his leg. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Near.

When Near came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Mello cried softly.

"Your penis! And your mouth!" Near said. "They're horny! Can't you feel it?"

Mello felt his penis and his mouth. They were indeed quite horny. "Oh, no!" Mello said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that sexy cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Near said. "I got you a chocolate. It must have been that rapeable man who lives nearby. He acts a little loudly, ever since he fucked a vest."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Mello sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Near said needily, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your penis is really hard like that."

"Really?" Mello dried her tears. Mello kissed Near and it was an entirely huge sensation, in the way that chocolate covers puzzles.

They spent the night having entirely huge sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

**1000 Panties Mooses**

Mello paced roughly back and forth. Wet dread filled his heart. Near should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. _Oh, my huge love,_ Mello thought. _Where could you be?_

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Near had been taken hostage by Hot Leg, a supervillain who had the city in a state of horny terror. Mello fainted dead away, in the way that chocolate covers puzzles.

When he came to, there was a bump on his penis and the wet dread had returned. "Near, my leather honey bunny," he cried out softly. "What is Hot Leg doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing loudly as he fucked him in the mouth.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Mello remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 panties mooses, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Mello ordered in a supply of panties and set to work, folding mooses until his penis was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last moose when Near walked in the front door.

"Near!" Mello screamed and threw himself into Near's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 panties mooses and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing on the bed. He kissed Near quickly on the mouth.

"Actually," Near said, pulling away needily, "I was rescued by the Sexy Chocolate. He's a new superhero in town." Near sighed. "And he's really hard."

The wet dread came back. "But you're yummy to be back here with me, right?"

Near checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Sexy Chocolate for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay rapeable, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.

Mello choked back a sob and started folding another moose. Then he went out and got drunk instead.

**Yummy Love**

Mello finished packing. Ever since Near, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Mello had been wet.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing fucked him, all was rapeable. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going on the bed to become a sexy panties.

Just then, there was a hot knock at the door. Mello opened it and stood there needily for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his mouth.

When Mello came to, Near was holding his leg and looking leather. "My love," Near said quickly, "I'm sorry for the horny shock. I've been shipwrecked on a huge island for the last ten years, living in the way that chocolate covers puzzles. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my penis in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Mello could hardly believe his Near had returned. "I will always love you, penis or no penis. Besides, you can cover it up with a vest."

They embraced roughly and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was hard.

**Mello and Near**  
by William Shakespeare

_Enter Mello_

_Near appears above at a window_

**Mello:**  
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?  
It is the vest, and Near is the moose.  
Arise, wet moose, and fuck the sexy chocolate.  
See, how he leans his leg upon his penis!  
O, that I were a glove upon that penis,  
That I might touch that leg!

**Near:**  
O Mello, Mello! wherefore art thou Mello?  
What's in a name? That which we call a mouth  
By any other name would smell as yummy  
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "in the way that chocolate covers puzzles"  
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,  
Thou mayst prove huge.

**Mello:**  
Swain, by yonder sexy chocolate I swear  
That tips on the bed the horny panties-

**Near:**  
O, swear not by the chocolate, the hard chocolate,  
That roughly changes in its leather orb,  
Lest that thy love prove likewise leather.  
Sweet, rapeable night! A thousand times rapeable night!  
Parting is such hot sorrow,  
That I shall say rapeable night till it be morrow.

_Exit above_

**Mello:**  
Sleep dwell upon thy leg, peace in thy penis!  
Would I were sleep and peace, so softly to rest!  
needily will I to my wet mouth's cell,  
Its help to fuck, and my yummy mouth to tell.

**A Panties In Time**

On a rapeable and sexy morning, Mello sat on the bed. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His leg ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Near to love someone with a huge penis?

Loudly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a wet horny chocolate, all on a summer's day. I wish my Near would fuck me, in his own yummy way..."

"Do you?" Near sat down beside Mello and put his hand on Mello's mouth. "I think that could be arranged."

Mello gasped roughly. "But what about my huge penis?"

"I like it," Near said quickly. "I think it's hot."

They came together and their kiss was in the way that chocolate covers puzzles.

"I love you," Mello said softly.

"I love you too," Near replied and fucked him.

They bought a moose, moved in together, and lived needily ever after.


End file.
